Get Focused, Making A Spectacle

The handsome geek!

I have worn glasses, on-and-off (literally), for about twenty-years.

I am a reluctant wearer of the spectacles. Glasses are a social stigma (or astigmatism in my case!) that has never sat comfortably with me. I can't be alone in this predicament?

In optometrist terms I sit around -1.75D, which makes me slightly short-sighted. According to the NHS website, anything under -3.00D is considered mild myopia. It is more than mildly inconvenient; I can tell you that!

Without glasses, I can struggle through TV, unless it involves reading. My vision gets progressively worse when I'm tired. This forces me to squint, much like I'm holding a fart. Which is ridiculous right? Who holds a good fart? Even for the Queen.

I'll try to keep this post mature, please bear with me..........

All I Want, Is 20-20 Vision

I first noticed my sight was failing at secondary school. In classrooms, I would sit at the front. The teachers mistook it for youthful enthusiasm, but in truth, I couldn't see the whiteboard.

I strung it out for a couple of years and even passed my driving test without glasses. Eventually I conceded defeat at Boots opticians in Tunbridge Wells. The optometrist broke the news, that my dad's speccy gene, had indeed wormed its way to my retinas.

"You can't be serious?" I said.

"I'm over here....." she replied. 

Clearly, I needed them. With glasses on, my vision went from VHS to 4K. But despite the expensive frames and vision upgrade, I didn't want to wear them.

When I got home, my brother soon took the p*ss. The usual speccy insults fired and he concluded the barrage with "you look like Louis Theroux, haha!". Slightly more inventive than "four-eyes", I'll give him that. To this day, the smug git still has 20-20.

First Contact

Get in you b*stard!

For a while, I dabbled with contact lenses. Those floaty plastic things, you place in the eyes. It solved the vanity issue (to a degree) and you learn to insert them with military precision. 

 

But lenses have their drawbacks. Finding a comfortable lens is challenging. Then you need regular eye-checks and lens solutions.

Eye infections will occur, if you leave them in too long. In my youth, I would fall asleep with both lenses in. The next morning, my eyeballs would gunk-up as if I'd been spat on by an angry camel. 

Don't underestimate the environmental impact either. Contact lenses are micro-plastics and bad for marine wildlife. Estimates say the UK throws away 750 million contact lenses into drains or landfill. I don't want to be part of the problem.

Son: "Dad, why is that seabird dying with micro-plastic in its gut?"

Dad: "Because your father is a vain b*stard son, that's why"

They don't show that on Puffin Rock! 

Personal Vanities

For me, there is a vanity element. It changes your whole appearance and you can become stereotyped quickly. That person with glasses looks smart doesn't he? He looks bookish, geeky, nerdy etc (insert spectacle stereotype here).

Admittedly, I have played glasses to my advantage on occasions. At job interviews, I would wear them to look "smart". Even Superman knew the power of spectacles in an office environment..

The transition to glasses is easier prior to adolescence. Children soon make glasses their identity. You know little Billy don't you? The little kid with glasses? Easy, done, move on.

Kids embrace it and get on with life. In early adulthood, the transition is less smooth. At this age, glasses are welcomed like a new strain of Covid. We become self-conscious and resistant to change.

I follow a wonderful chap on Instagram called @themultidad. He is a proud wearer of glasses and so are his children. I need to take a leaf from his book. I don't know his personal 'glasses' story, but he looks confident in glasses. The archetypal modern dad with no spectacle hang-ups.

My Vision

Man of steel, man of action

So let me wrap this up and get to the point.

Nobody cares, except me. This pro-longed period of insecurity is ridiculous. I have two sons and they may go through this one day. It seems a good time to conquer the insecurities and lay down some prep-work.

I have recently purchased new glasses, so I am ready for the personal challenge. For now I'll tolerate being Mr Speccy at home, in secret. I can counter the odd moment of self-consciousness, by removing them for video calls or parcel deliveries. 

The UK's vaccination programme is going well, so I estimate another six months of home-working. I have vowed to return to the office in full Clark Kent mode.

This is it, the moment of change. Bring it on!

👓👍