Doing it all again. Shall we have another baby? Oh, why not! Was I too old for another child? Did I possess the mental energy for more parenting adventures? After raising two boys, I believed the parenting journey may be over. I was past forty, so questions about age and energy levels linger. In fairness, I'm in decent physical shape. I exercise regularly and eat healthier than most dads I know. I have worked hard to avoid the dangers of the "dad-bod" physique and bad clothing choices. It's wonderful to be a dad, but terrible to look like a dad. Because invariably, looking like a dad, can mean you've let yourself go. That's not a judgement on anybody. But I'm a better dad, when I am in good mental and physical shape. During 2023, my wife and I, had the "conversation." Could we do it all again? Were our finances equipped for more sprogs? Did we have the stamina for night-feeds, nappy changes and sleep depravation? There are no "perfect moment...

September 11th, 2001. A serious post today. Yesterday marked twenty-years since the 9/11 attacks. Thousands of innocents died that day. Imagine the family impact? Many mothers and fathers, did not return to their loved-ones. The world suddenly seemed cruel and brutal. Back then I was much younger. It was shocking and still I can't process it. It didn't make sense. For my generation, it felt like a significant period in time. Much like the JFK assignation or the moon landing, you remember where you were. Years on, as a parent and family man, I view it with further sadness. A generation of children were left without a parent, and are now adults themselves. For twenty-years, they have functioned through grief. Time doesn't heal everything. Their loss must feel as real today, as it did back then. Showing Compassion Sadly terrorist attacks still occur, all over the world.   And the world feels divisive, and in conflict. Terror attacks, wars, pandemics and climate change, only ra...

Home-working, what a thrill, what a Buzz! The children returned to school this week, but there were no changes for dad. It's now eighteen-months, since I joined the 'working from home' gang. School closures, lockdowns, and Joe Wicks workouts, seem a distant memory. The world is (supposedly) returning to normal, but not for me. Imagine working from home for so long, ABBA have reformed, and put out new songs! In some respects I'm lucky. Being at home affords me time with the kids, and that's a blessing. For now, there's no alternative option. But I'm not fully onboard. I miss the office life, personal space and even the commute. Because, by default, I'm an introverted lone soul. Imagine working from home for so long, ABBA have reformed, and put out new songs! That said, I'm making the best of this situation. With planning, structure and boundaries; you can operate as worker and parent. So this is how I do it, for what it's worth. 1. Create A Dedica...

"Stop it dad! You're 40!" Don't get old, never get old! Always, maintain a youthful approach to life. Impart your wisdom, but stay young. Be mature, be adult, but never lose a sense of fun or adventure. It's a common trap, as we become adults (or parents). The aging body, transcends into an aging mind.  That's what I admire about kids. They attack life with youthful exuberance.  Life is there to be attacked with fun and purpose. Live by this philosophy. Be the cool mum, dad, uncle, aunt, etc. Don't get old, never get old! Don't Become Boring Life places expectations on us. Society has a template for adults, and we foolishly play along.  Society has a template for adults and we foolishly play along.  Too many people, approach adult life in 'mundane mode'. Sadly, for many, our best personal qualities disappear. I say screw the rules. Stay young of heart, and stick two fingers up to convention.  Maintaining A Youthful Mindset I read a book recentl...

PlayStation incoming, special delivery! Gaming is for kids right? Nonsense! Big news, we own a PlayStation 5. A couple of hipster parents, down with the youngsters.  It's becoming the evening ritual. When the kids go to bed, the gaming starts. It's glorious escapism. We also have online personas. 'Mayhem Mum' and 'Cyber Dad' are quite badass.  Our Gaming Past We last owned a console, about eight years ago, but we sold it. It wasn't getting used, I was studying and life was busy. Years later we talked about buying a new console. Then the kids came along and it didn't happen (again). I dabbled with emulators and retro gaming, but that was it. During my youth, I was over every gaming platform. At various points I gamed on a ZX Spectrum (Google it), Atari, Amiga 500+, Mega Drive, Game Gear, Game Boy, PlayStation 1, Xbox, PSP and Xbox 360. The launch of the PlayStation 5 (PS5), was a route back. As you can imagine, these things are popular. Fortunately we got...

More coffee please. To quote Alice Cooper , "schools out, for summer".  Imagine not knowing school without a pandemic? My son just finished reception class. These are unprecedented times.  Top marks to the parents, for navigating the farce. You earned the parent stripes, and some.  School closures, remote learning, facemasks, isolation, rapid testing, and more school closures. We'll look back and laugh some day. Challenge number two; the summer break. We've just done a staycation in  Cornwall, so five weeks left. That said, September seems a long way off. I warn you, this may be ranty. Summer Break, Six Weeks, Help! Who decided summer breaks were needed? Probably teachers! Fortunately I work from home, but it isn't without challenges. It presents many childcare issues. How do you juggle work and life demands, with kids? Netflix? Disney+?  The problem is, everybody is busy.  Even most nans and grandads still work. So this further limits childcare option...

Demotivated dad! I seem to be stuck in slumps-ville. Slumps are destructive little buggers. They creep up on you, and before you know it, you aren't attacking life with the same zest. I blame my recent injury for this decline. A number of weeks back, I cracked my right rib, getting out the bath, dumbass. It was clumsy and stupid.  Weeks of soreness followed, on prescription painkillers. Exercise took a back seat, as I recovered. Ribs take around 6-8 weeks to heel, so I'm waiting it out. I feel like a wounded animal. A dad losing his edge. Fitness and health levels have declined. Never underestimate the importance of a healthy life.  Low motivation becomes a cancer. It can damage all parts of life. Now it's time to snap out and stop feeling sorry for myself.   Passions like music, reading, learning, blogging and fitness are taking a backseat. It's time to reset, recalibrate and get things going! Calibrating Body and Mind Slumps normally have a trigger. Low motivation ...

Breaking Dad, Breaking Bones. Nothing like a bit of physical and mental pain. First my wife's grandfather passed away unexpectedly, which was really sad.  I then went and cracked my rib, ouch. More on this later, but my sides are sore and I'm on prescription pain killers! I try to remain upbeat, when life throws out these challenges. Finding the motivation to write blog posts, becomes tougher.  But that's life, full of unpredictability. The route out of every hole, is always up.   Dealing With Loss Her grandad Robin was a fabulous guy. He could talk forever, but he had the stories. That's the tragic part of loss. You never get to hear their stories, in their words, from their perspective, again. You never get to hear their stories, in their words, from their perspective, again. All loss is tough, but unexpected loss is worse. You aren't prepared for it, and then it comes. But you always have the memories. There's a famous scene in Blade Runner, when Rutger Hauer...

Mum's had worse days! Monday was 'International Women's Day' and today is 'Mother's Day' (in the UK). Our moment comes later in the year, with 'Father's Day' and 'International Men's Day' respectively. "Every day is friggin' men's day!"  my wife would say. Mother's Day gets tricky with small kids, as effectively your are stung twice! I can hardly make my 2 and 5 year old, visit the card shop and florist alone. So the burden falls on me, along with gifts for my own mum. They should rename it 'Wife Day' or 'Valentines 2', because if you have small children, that's your reality. This morning we enjoyed a McDonald's takeaway breakfast, something different. It goes against my healthy living, but hey, it's a special day.  Today's gifts include flowers (standard), Charlotte Tilbury make-up (pillow talk?), chocolate truffles (yum) and a small bottle of Sauvignon blanc (pisshead). I'll ...

At peace with life, and pink! I've done a lot of growing over the past twelve-months, and not just the period where I got fat! ( read here ) By growth, I mean the personal and self-development variety. The kind where you experience epiphanies, clarity and new perspectives on life. So much has happened, yet so much didn't happen!  German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" (or was that Kelly Clarkson?). In short, setbacks help us to grow and improve. Forgive me, I am about to go all Zen. I present to you, my seven lessons learned in lockdown. 1. Avoid The 'Comparison' Trap Social media has revolutionised the way we connect, I love it. The problem is, we often consciously and subconsciously compare ourselves to others. Too easily we become envious when the grass appears greener. Don't get caught in that trap, focus on your own purpose! People rarely have perfect lives, and believe me, many battle their own dem...

Always remember the card! Happy Valentine's Day to everyone.  Once again, the pandemic obliterates our happiness. No fancy restaurants or dates tonight. No chance of packing the kids off to Nana's. No peace and quiet. Thank you Mr Covid! In these dire times, be grateful to have retained love in a pandemic. According to latest sources,  the pandemic has caused an International spike in relationship break-ups .  Sadly, it doesn't surprise me. The present strains on parents and relationships is next-level. Tonight I seek solace with a "Dine In" meal from  Marks & Spencers . Where no doubt, as usual, we'll find ourselves drunkenly reminiscing about the night we met and stories of early dates.  Contrary to popular belief, men enjoy the occasion too. Even exhausted dads like myself! So if you can, for one night, embrace Valentine's Day and park the bullsh*t to one side. Chill, relax and treat the better half with some gifts. Read on, for my views about love ...