Surviving Valentine's Day

Always remember the card!

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone. 

Once again, the pandemic obliterates our happiness. No fancy restaurants or dates tonight. No chance of packing the kids off to Nana's. No peace and quiet. Thank you Mr Covid!

In these dire times, be grateful to have retained love in a pandemic. According to latest sources, the pandemic has caused an International spike in relationship break-ups. Sadly, it doesn't surprise me. The present strains on parents and relationships is next-level.

Tonight I seek solace with a "Dine In" meal from Marks & Spencers. Where no doubt, as usual, we'll find ourselves drunkenly reminiscing about the night we met and stories of early dates. 

Contrary to popular belief, men enjoy the occasion too. Even exhausted dads like myself! So if you can, for one night, embrace Valentine's Day and park the bullsh*t to one side. Chill, relax and treat the better half with some gifts.

Read on, for my views about love and relationships. 

What Is Love? (Baby Don't Hurt Me....)

Sang the nineties philosopher Haddaway.  

It is an interesting question? I suspect it means different things to everyone. For me, it's finding the person you can be authentic around. Only my wife gets to see the real me. If the world saw it, I'd be locked-up in some asylum.

Love, from my perspective, is finding the friend you can be authentic around. Someone to tolerate your unique quirks and who's company you enjoy. It's a mutual thing.

A deep emotional connection also ranks highly. I'm an affectionate guy, a lover of hugs and kisses. My wife is happy to oblige, on the rare occasions I wash (that is a joke, I wash regularly!).

Once you find love, never take it for granted. A love-filled relationship can be a compliment to your life. Appreciate what you have. Some people are lucky to meet their partner and soulmate. I feel sorry for those still searching, but don't give up, it's out there.

My parents divorced when I was young. So, it saddens me that the pandemic is contributing to marriage and family break-ups. Be understanding of your partner, talk and get through it. The pandemic is an un-natural relationship test.

Give Your Partner Space

It isn't natural or healthy to be locked indoors with your partner, for so long. Men and women need time apart. The time to grow personally and feed these positive life experiences back into the relationship. The pandemic has been brutal in this respect.

Absence does make the heart grow fonder. Unfortunately the lock-down doesn't play into this need for space. You need time to miss your partner. If you miss your partner and they miss you, you almost certainly have love.

I am quite introverted by default and love time by myself. Time to read, play guitar or listen to vinyl records. Breathing space is important for a relationship. I've seen too many relationships fail, because one person got too needy and smothered the other.

Stop Expecting Perfection

Love doesn't mean perfection. Sometimes you need to blow-off steam.  At our worst, my wife and I behave like spoilt brats. But we say "sorry", make-up and move on.

I must admit, the wife and I have quarrelled more during lockdown. We try to be non-confrontational, but too often Dr Jekyll morphs into Mr Hyde. We'll be ok and many couples have far bigger obstacles to overcome. 

My grandparents have been married sixty-years and still argue. It is normal.

All relationships hit bumps. You have to put the work in. So Valentine's Day is the perfect chance to get back on course and re-affirm what you have. 

Spare A Thought For Singletons

I feel for single people in this dire situation. A single friend of mine described his predicament as perpetually feeling 'hornier than a sex-addicted rabbit'. Coronavirus has decimated the dating game. I'm glad to be out of it. Modern dating just looks horrid!

It is a lucrative business no doubt. The dating-app Bumble was just valued at $13bn and its female founder Whitney Wolfe is now a billionaire. A great story and no doubt a growth area.

Life was simple when I met my wife. Tinder and Bumble were not a "thing". The dating dynamics have turned on their head. Apps have become the norm. Swipe if you like, swipe if you don't. Silly algorithms dictating if poor little Jeffrey gets a hot date or not!

In my day, people rarely talked via cyberspace. The dating game was played in the real-world. In fact, if you met anyone online you were sad! Men needed confidence and balls to approach a beautiful girl (or man! 🏳‍🌈). Then you needed conversation and personality to get anywhere. No perfect selfie, profile page or emoji was coming to the rescue.

Call me old fashioned, but I preferred the old way. When this pandemic is over, they'll be massive pent-up dating demand. Everybody just hang in there, a return to normal relationship protocols is near.

💘